


Diary of the Fisher King

by Xanthos_Samurai



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bromance, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Spoilers, World of Ruin, dad feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 14:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11186868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xanthos_Samurai/pseuds/Xanthos_Samurai
Summary: After Noctis disappears, Prompto returns to Hammerhead and is given a diary by Cindy, who claims it was written by Noctis.  Prompto hopes to learn more about his friend, but the diary contains much more than memories of the past - it may be the key to the future as well.





	Diary of the Fisher King

Prompto stepped out of the trailer and into the blinding light of a setting Leide sun.  His hair, wet from the shower, clung to his neck and forehead.  It would dry soon enough, he thought with a sigh.  Even though the days were getting shorter, it seemed that the sun always burned brightest right when it was about to set.  

Ignis or Noctis would probably have had something philosophical to say about that, but Prompto just wasn’t the type.  Nor was he in the mood to try.  

“Hey P.  How ya feelin’?”  

He jumped a bit as Cindy’s sympathetic drawl came from his left.  She was looking at him with that look that always made his stomach clench in guilt - the one where she had that line of worry between her eyebrows.  He hated making other people worry about him.

He shot her a grin and two thumbs up.

“Well I no longer smell like a dead, rotting garula!  So uh… level up to hygiene, I guess!”

She smiled a little bit.  “Yeah, you think they stink on the outside, but you come upon one that’s been rottin’ in the sun?  Pretty sure nothin’ in the world can smell worse than that.”

He let himself laugh.  It still felt a little weird to laugh, like it was something that shouldn’t be allowed.  But he couldn’t hold himself to never smiling or laughing or ever being happy ever again.  Noct wouldn’t want that.  

Cindy’s face relaxed a little and Prompto was relieved to see that the line between her eyebrows had smoothed back out.  

“So hey, wanna grab some dinner?  There’s somethin’ I wanna talk to you about.”  She jerked a thumb over at the restaurant.

Prompto grinned.  “Sure thing, if you’re buying.”  

A short while later found the two of them sitting in a tucked-away booth at Takka’s Pit Stop.  The sun had sunk halfway into the horizon and the whole world seemed to be bathed in crimson.  Prompto’s hair, true to his prediction, was already perfectly dry.  

“You know, I always thought you styled it to look like that.”  Cindy gestured to his hair.  “But it just… does that naturally?”

Prompto plucked at a strand.

“Yeah, everyone thinks that.  But it just dries this way.  It got even worse when I was on the road because I’d usually be the last one to the shower.  I’d go to sleep with it wet and wake up looking ridiculous.  Well, even more ridiculous.”  

“You miss it, don’tcha?  Bein’ on the road.”  Cindy tilted her head a little.

“...I miss it more than anything.  Well, except Noct himself.”  Prompto paused.  “And delivery pizza.  Delivery pizza was definitely something I did not appreciate enough until it was gone.  I intend to hold that Ardyn asshole accountable for every slice of pizza I have been deprived of because of him”

He grinned, hoping for a laugh.  But it didn’t come.  Cindy gave him only a half smile and rested her forearms on the table, leaning towards him a bit.  

“Look…  You don’t have to turn everything into a joke if you don’t wanna.  I know you’re hurtin’.  You’ve got a lot of stuff to be hurtin’ about.  I know it’s been hard for you bein’ here without Noctis.  And without Gladio and Ignis too.  You don’t gotta pretend it’s not hard.  I know this isn’t where you really wanna be.”

Once again, Prompto felt that tension in his stomach.  He waved both hands as if to ward off the serious topic.  

“No no no, I am totally grateful to you and Cid for letting me stay here.  Don’t think I’m not.  I mean, I kinda feel like a fifth wheel and I know I’m sorta a charity case, but I’ll figure out a way to better earn my keep,” he said hurriedly.

Cindy’s eyes widened and she grabbed one of his wrists.

“Whoa, hold on a second!  Nobody’s complainin’ about you not earning your keep.  The truth is that Paw-paw and I both like havin’ you around.  You’re a big help.  This isn’t about that.”  Cindy sat back in the booth but kept her hands on the table, tapping her fingertips together as though was nervous.  Prompto couldn’t help but notice that she had rings of black around her short fingernails and scabs on several knuckles.  He liked that about her.

“So what’s it about then?”  He asked.

“I guess I just… wanted you to know you can talk to me about stuff.”  She took a deep breath.  “And the other reason I asked you to dinner…. I guess the real reason… is that I have something to give you.”

Cindy placed a small book on the table between them.  It was black and unmarked by author or title, though the sharp corners of the hard covers had been worn slightly round.  Prompto blinked at the book, then at her.

“Sure you didn’t mean this for Ignis or Gladio?  Not much of a reader these days.  Or ever, if I’m being honest.”

She opened her mouth to speak, then hesitated for a moment.  With a sigh somewhere between pained and resigned, she took off her hat and put it down on the booth beside her.  Her hair beneath was flat from where the hat had squashed it down before it exploded into the tousled curls that he was familiar with.  She ran a troubled hand through her hair and then leaned forward towards Prompto again, look of determination in her face. 

“The prince gave me this.  The last time y’all came to Hammerhead, before he… left for good.”  She looked hard at Prompto as the young man’s jaw fell open in shock.  “He kinda… pulled me aside one night and asked me to hold onto this for him.  For safekeepin’.  He said I’d know who to give it to, and when the time was right.”

Prompto closed his mouth and licked his lips.  His eyes kept darting between Cindy and the book, not sure if he should wait or snatch it off the table and rip it open.  

“And you decided to give it to me?”  He reached across the table and put a hand on the book, not yet sliding it towards himself, not yet opening it.  “Are you sure I’m the right person?”

“Sure as sure can be,” she said firmly.  

That made Prompto feel a little better.  Cindy was smart and didn’t have any talent for bullshit, so he trusted her to be honest and to say exactly what she thought was the truth.  He pulled the book towards him and held it in his hands for a moment, smoothing his fingers along the covers and spine, thinking of Noct.  

“...Come to think of it, I think I saw him writing in this a couple times.  Mostly late at night when I guess he thought we were asleep.”  Prompto gazed down at the blank cover.  “I didn’t really think about it at the time.  I figured maybe he was writing to Luna.  He did that too, sometimes.”

Cindy nodded.  “He was a funny one.  So open in some ways, but he still had lotsa secrets.”

He smiled a wry smile, mostly to himself.  

“Yeah, no kidding.  Well, let’s see what this is...”  Prompto slid a thumb between the cover and first page of the book and opened it.  

On the title page, in an elegant square script, was written:

The Diary of the Fisher King

Prompto frowned down at it for a moment, confused by the title.  What the hell was a Fisher King?  Whatever it was, it certainly sounded like Noct.  The handwriting looked weird too.  Was that what Noct’s handwriting even looked like?  With a start, he realized that he and Noctis had communicated over text for so long that he had no idea.

He paused before turning the next page and looked up at Cindy.

“Did you… read any of this?”

A blush spread across her cheeks.

“...Just the title page, the one you’re lookin’ at now.  I ain’t proud of it but curiosity got the best of me.  Then I realized that it weren’t right for me to be lookin’ through his private journal when he didn’t give me the say-so.”  She caught his eyes.  “Do you know what it means?  The Fisher King?”

“Um… no, actually.  I have no idea.  Noct was a prince and he liked fishing, but that’s all I got.”  Prompto’s fingers itched to tear through the rest of the book, almost as strong as the longing and loneliness had been gnawing at his heart ever since they’d arrived here without Noctis.  But he didn’t want to just dash off and be rude to Cindy. 

Fortunately, she seemed to read his mind.

“Look, you sit here and eat a decent meal with me and then I promise I’ll let you go off and read.  I know you’re gonna be up all night so you’d better eat somethin’ now so you’ll have the stamina.  Dinner’s on me, just don’t tell Paw-paw.”

Prompto smiled and put the book aside, handling it as carefully as though it were made of pure mythril.  To him, it was worth even more than that.

“Okay, fair.”  He paused.  “Hey Cindy… Thanks.  Not just for this, for everything.  But especially for this.  It… means a lot.”

She flapped a hand at him dismissively.

“Ain’t nothin’.  I’m just doin’ what the prince asked me to do.  I feel bad because I probably shoulda given it to you sooner, but… the time just didn’t feel right.”

“It’s okay.  I get it,” nodded Prompto.  “So uh… is there a budget limit on free dinner?”

 

For as hot and blinding as the sun made Hammerhead during the day, the speed with which chill night descended over the landscape was almost eerie.  When the shadows lengthened and and the sharp edges melted together to turn the landscape into one unending darkness, that was when Prompto found himself missing the others the most.  That was the point when someone (usually Ignis or himself) would insist that they stop for the night.  The hostility of the world outside would vanish as they jockeyed for the best spots inside the tent or savored the luxury of a soft bed.  Or hell, even when they sat around, sore and wet and  complaining after a miserable day, at least they were sore and wet and complaining together.  The cold didn’t bother Prompto much, but he missed having an excuse to be physically close to other people.  He didn’t realize how much he’d gotten used to that until it was gone.

“That said…” he muttered to himself as he slammed the door of the trailer against the chill air.  “I sure don’t miss Gladio making us camp in cold-ass caves or mountains or wherever else.”

The inside of the trailer had once been comfortable but impersonal, fitting for a place that was supposed to be a temporary refuge for weary travelers.  But now that it was his personal residence, Prompto had turned it into a kind of cave of creature comforts.  Packaged food and snacks were squirreled away in various corners, always within arm’s reach.  Bits of machine parts and gadgets took up most of the small table, leaving only a corner where he could eat.  At least his clothes were mostly contained within the tiny closet.  

The only thing that was consistently organized were the photos, which were stacked in neat piles on the small spare table he’d somehow managed to wedge into the last bit of spare space in the trailer.  Most of them had notes on top to mark when or where they were taken, or other pertinent information.  The meticulousness with which they were organized would have made even Ignis give a pursed-lip nod of approval.

He kicked his boots off near the door and navigated the inside of the trailer expertly, making his way over to the back area with the neatly-made bed.  He always made his bed, even now - that was one thing that Ignis had managed to drill into him enough to stick.  

With the journal clutched carefully in one hand, Prompto flopped on his bed and snuggled his shoulder blades back into the mountain of pillows.  Excitement tingled at every nerve ending.

“Maybe Noct has some brilliant ideas that he wrote down in here for me…”  Prompto rested the journal against his knees and smoothed his fingers over the cover again.  His heart was fluttering in his chest like a caged bird.  Maybe Noct knew what would happen, somehow.  Maybe he left this with Cindy so that Prompto and the others could help him!  

Hope.  It felt amazing to have hope again.  

Prompto took a deep breath and opened the book to the title page yet again.  “The Diary of the Fisher King.”  He tried to remember yet again if Noctis had ever mentioned anything like this ever before, but his memory was still blank.  

“Okay Noct… Here’s hoping the Fisher King has some brilliant idea how to save you…”

He took a deep breath and turned the page.

 

_ My dad died today. _

 

Prompto slammed the book shut and shoved the balls of his hands into his eyes.  

Fuck.

What had he been expecting?  Some prophecy from the past?  From  _ Noct _ ?  Some magical note that said “Hey guys, if you’re reading this, here’s the way to magically fix everything”?  Prompto clenched his teeth against the swell of emotions until his jaw ached.  He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it hadn’t been that.

Noct wasn’t like that.  He was just… a guy.  A guy who missed his dad.  

“If Noct were here, he’d laugh at you for getting all weepy over his diary.  And I don’t even wanna think about what Gladio would say.”  He smiled a bit to himself.  “Noct was man enough to actually call his diary a diary so… I’ve gotta be man enough to read it.”

With a deep breath to steel his nerves, Prompto opened the book again and began to read.

 

_ My dad died today.   _

_ My whole city died today.  Most of my country, what was left of it.  My home, my people, my kingdom… everything. _

_ But I can’t deal with that right now.  It’s too big.  All I can think about is that my dad is dead.  I’m never going to talk to him ever again.  He knew what was going to happen when he sent me out of the city and he didn’t say anything.  HE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING.  WHY DIDN’T HE SAY ANYTHING?! _

 

The rest of the page was blank, marred by a large blot of ink, as though Noctis had stabbed the pen into the paper and held it there.

Prompto took a deep, slow breath and traced the blot with his fingertips.

“I’m so sorry.  I wish I’d known what to say to make you feel better.  We were all so lost.”  

He turned the page.  The handwriting on this page was neater, less scribbled and smudged than on the first page.  To be fair, even Noctis’ messy handwriting was neater than his own chocobo-scratch.  

 

_ I feel like I could sleep for the rest of time and it still wouldn’t be enough to make up for how tired I feel.  But I don’t want to stop moving.  It’s when we stop that I start to think and that’s the last thing I want to do. _

_ But at the same time, I feel like I need to write down everything I remember about my dad.  There’s nobody else to do it.  And nobody else knew him like I knew him.  Sometimes I’m not sure how well I even knew him.   _

_ Gladio and Ignis lost their families too.  And Prompto.  I want to ask them if they’re okay, but we all seem to be determined to not talk about it, to act like we’re not hurting.  I don’t want to be the one to make things awkward.  I wish Prompto would cry or something just so we could could stop pretending that everything is okay. _

 

“Gee, thanks Noct.”  Prompto snorted, but found it impossible to be really angry.  “Now I kinda wish I really had cried.  Maybe you’re right.  Maybe it would have helped.”

The first few pages of entries were sporadic, often messy.  It wasn’t until after week’s worth of entries that Nocis even started dating them.  They cut off mid-sentence or even mid-word and were mostly just fragments that had no end or beginning, many of them scratched out entirely.  

At last, Prompto came to an entry that was more than just scribbles and rage:

 

_ Iris asked me once if I was afraid of anything. _

_ This was a few years ago, before things got really bad.  She had come to drop something off for Gladio, but saw me in one of the gardens and came over to say hello.  I think I was out there with some paper that they wanted me to read, but honestly I was probably taking a nap.  She asked me all serious, way out of character for her. _

_ “Honestly?  I’m afraid of your brother.  In particular, his socks after a workout.  One whiff could kill a catoblepas,” I said in a deadpan. _

_ “Noctis!”  She shoved me.  “I’m being serious!  Is there anything you’re afraid of?” _

_ I rubbed my shoulder, not because I was playing but because it actually kind of hurt.  Iris isn’t Gladio’s sister for nothing. _

_ “I dunno… What should I be afraid of?” _

_ “Normal people are afraid of normal stuff.  Bugs, snakes, monsters, heights…  None of that stuff seems to bother you.  I was just curious,” she said. _

_ I could tell that there was more to it than that, but she didn’t want to ask outright.  It was weird for Iris, of all people, to beat around the bush. _

_ “It’s not that I’m not scared of monsters, it’s that I know how to deal with them better than most other people, I guess.  Why are you asking me this?”  I asked. _

_ Iris fiddled with the hem of her skirt. _

_ “I saw you in combat training the other day.  With the Glaives.  They’re already amazing, the way they can teleport around and everything, but you were on a whole different level.  You just throw yourself off the edge like you didn’t think that falling was even possible for you.” _

_ I don’t remember what I said to her in response - I probably made a stupid joke.  But it made me think about another memory.  One that I’ve never shared with anyone before. _

 

_ I was little when I first started showing the ability to use the crystal.  It was just small things at first, like being able to warp a few feet at a time.  I didn’t tell anyone about it.  I knew what was happening, but I guess I just wanted to keep it a secret.  Maybe I thought it would mean more lessons and more people watching over me and I definitely didn’t want that.  But then one day I warped across a room and a maid saw me and freaked out.   _

_ I hadn’t been worried about getting into trouble before but now I was because I had kept it a secret.  I didn’t want Dad to be mad at me.  I hated it when we fought, especially since I didn’t see him very often. _

_ They marched me into the throne room.  Usually I loved seeing Dad up there on the throne, looking all cool and in charge, but this time I was a little afraid.  It was weird to see him how other people must see him - imposing and hard to read. _

_ He frowned a little as we came forward.  Everyone else who had been in the room filtered out quietly.  Nobody wanted to witness a prince getting chewed out, I thought.   _

_ “Prince Noctis?  What’s going on here?”  He asked. _

_ Cor put his heavy hand on my shoulder.  He was the one who they had told about my powers, figuring that he would know how to handle them and how to handle telling my father.  I remember I tried to squirm away from him, but he gripped me and held me still. _

_ “Your Majesty, I’m here to tell you that there’s been a surprising development concerning Prince Noctis,” said Cor. _

_ The frown on Dad’s face deepened. _

_ “What is it?” _

_ “It seems that Prince Noctis is already able to utilize the powers of the crystal.  He was caught warping inside the palace.” _

_ For a moment, Dad’s expression was completely unreadable.  Then, his eyes lit up with a smile and a laugh burst from him so loud that it echoed in the huge throne room.  It startled me so bad that I nearly jumped into Cor. _

_ “I’ve never heard of one of the royal line of Lucis being able to use their powers at such a young age…”  He didn’t sound angry at all.  In fact, his voice was full of happiness and, most of all, pride.  “Is this true, Noctis?  You can already warp?” _

_ I nodded, scarcely believing my good luck.  I wasn’t in trouble?!  He was proud of me?! _

_ “Across the room,” I managed to get out. _

_ “That’s amazing.”  Dad leaned forward on his throne and looked at me as though he was asking me to share a secret.  “Which room?” _

_ “The ballroom, the one with the big crescent moon chandeliers.”  I spoke with more confidence now, unable to keep a proud smile off my face. _

_ Dad’s face lit up.  “That room’s huge!  You can already go that far?!” _

_ “Your Majesty!”  Cor cleared his throat pointedly.  “The prince’s powers are impressive, but the fact that he’s got more ability than the average Lucian royalty at his age isn’t just something to celebrate.  Raw power means untrained power.  Untrained power is dangerous.” _

_ “Not to mention that having a  _ very _ young member of the royalty who can warp anywhere at will constitutes a significant security risk.”  Clarus, never far from Dad’s side, chimed in too.  Both he and Cor were eyeballing me as if they thought I might just warp away at any second to the opposite end of the palace, or even the world.  I’m pretty sure if I could, I would have.   _

_ “Hmm.”  Dad sat back on his throne, serious again.  There was still some of that light shining in his eyes, though.  He wasn’t angry or worried despite what they said.   _

_ “I can have him begin training with the Glaives as soon as possible,” said Cor.  “He can do a modified version of the training we give new recruits when they first gain their warping abilities.  I don’t think it will be too difficult for him, since he’s already got the basics down out of instinct.” _

_ Clarus nodded.  He seemed to approve of this idea. _

_ “I agree that Prince Noctis is in need of training, and soon.  However,” Dad actually got to his feet and looked down at all of us.  “I will train him myself.” _

_ My jaw dropped.  You could have heard pin drop in the room as Cor and Clarus both  _ stared _ at Dad as though he had lost his mind. _

_ “Regis, you are the KING.”  Cor sounded as though he had begun many, many arguments with these exact words.  “You cannot just drop everything to do this.  Your duty is to your people.” _

_ “Part of my duty as king is to prepare my son to be king after me.  My crown, my powers, and my duties will all one day fall to Noctis.  He must be ready to bear all of them when that time comes.”  Dad drew himself up and squared his shoulders, giving Cor a “I am the motherfucking boss” look that I will never forget as long as I live.  “Furthermore, the powers that Noctis will inherit - has already begun to inherit - cannot be taught or trained by anyone who does not already possess them.  I am the only one who possesses them.  Only a king of Lucis can train a future king of Lucis.” _

_ Cor and Clarus glanced at each other.  I looked between Cor, Clarus, and my dad, my head swiveling around on my neck like I was trying to watch every tentacle on a Malboro at once.  I didn’t dare say anything. _

_ “...If you insist on doing this, I can arrange for you and Noctis to have private time each day at the Glaive training grounds,” Cor started. _

_ “No.  Noctis and I will be taking a training trip.  Outside of the city.  Alone.”   _

_ I think my brain actually imploded a little from excitement or something, because I didn’t hear whatever Clarus’ and Cor’s responses were to that.  I was too busy thinking about what Dad had just said.  Had he meant it?  Please, PLEASE let him have meant it. _

_ When I came back to reality, Clarus and Dad were arguing about proper security measures for a road trip taken outside Insomnia and Cor was looking more and more like he was either developing a migraine or wanted to give Dad one.  I looked up at him until he noticed me and looked back at me for a long moment.  Then he put his heavy hand on my shoulder again and squeezed once before pulling away. _

_ “Okay,” he said, just so I could hear it.  “But just so you know, your highness, i’m doing this for you, not him.”  He stepped forward and waited. _

_ “Clarus,” he said, when there was finally a break in the argument.  Both Clarus and Dad turned to him, obviously surprised by the interruption.  “Our job is not to question his majesty’s decisions, but to carry them out.  Regis, wait until we can make this safe for you and Noctis and then you can take this training trip.  Okay?” _

_ Clarus stood back with a resigned sigh and a nod.  Dad sat back on his throne, looking more satisfied than is usually proper for a monarch.   _

_ “I knew you two would agree with me eventually,” he said.   _

_ While Clarus and Cor rolled their eyes, Dad winked at me.  That moment was the happiest I had ever seen my dad.  _

 

Prompto raised his eyes to the ceiling and tried to think of the last time that he had seen King Regis look truly happy.  Hell, he wondered how long it had been since  _ Noctis _ had seen King Regis look truly happy.  Probably a much longer time than any of them had wanted to admit.  

“It’s kinda weird to read about Noctis and his dad being so....”  He trailed off, not wanting to say the word “happy” because it was depressing.  Prompto mused out loud to himself, to the empty room, but mostly to the stuffed dog that he’d picked up at a stall in Lestallum.  It was supposed to be a replica of Lunafreya’s dog, Pryna, but was so cheaply made that it could have been basically any white-ish dog-shaped animal.  

“We don’t have an unlimited amount of space for souvenirs, you know.”  Gladio had grouched at him after he’d brought the stuffed animal back to the hotel.  “We have to travel light.  That’s the general idea of being on the run.”

Prompto glared and clutched the stuffed dog to his chest.  He was about to open his mouth to launch into a protest when he was cut off:

“I believe everyone is allowed their small luxuries.”  Ignis, who always had a hidden cache of Ebony  _ somewhere _ , unexpectedly came to his defense.  “And I hardly think that a stuffed animal will make that much of a difference.  The Regalia isn’t full to bursting yet, after all.”

“Yeah, what Ignis said.  Everyone’s got stuff they’re carrying around for sentimental reasons!”  Said Prompto.

“I don’t.”  Gladio crossed his arms over his chest.

“No, you just pick up every shiny freaking object that catches your eye out in the wilderness,” retorted Prompto.  “How many shattered timepieces do we need, Gladio?  Not normal, functioning timepieces -  _ shattered _ ones.”

At that, even Ignis raised a brow at Gladio.  Noctis, who had been pointedly pretending to ignore this entire exchange, looked up from his phone and also fixed his gaze on him.  

Under three pairs of skeptical eyes, even the stoic Gladio cracked a little bit.  He coughed and ran a hand through his hair.

“They’ll come in handy one day, I swear.”

“Uh-huh.”  Prompto put the dog down on the bed and crossed his own arms over his chest, a miniature version of Gladio’s own “respect my authority” stance.  “Let’s take a vote to see what the majority opinion is.  Between Gladio’s broken watches, my stuffed animal, Noct’s fishing equipment and Iggy’s coffee, which is the least useful?  Who here votes for broken watches?”  

Prompto raised his hand.  Ignis did the same.  Noctis, who had returned to his phone, raised one hand while still tapping the screen with his other.  He didn’t bother looking up.  Gladio just scowled at all of them.

“What good does a stuffed dog do?!”  

“Cuddles,” answered Prompto immediately.  “Emotional comfort.”

“Emotional comfort,” snorted Gladio.  “My ass.”

Prompto grinned.  “Yeah, exactly.  It’s either cuddle your ass or cuddle this guy here.  Which do you prefer?”   

Gladio snorted and left the room, finally sick of the whole conversation.  Ignis rolled his eyes and went to the kitchenette to start making preparations for dinner.  Prompto glowed for a moment, pleased by the fact that he had actually won for a change.  He looked around for his new acquisition and saw Noctis sitting up on the bed with the dog in his hands, looking it over with an expression on his face that Prompto couldn’t really read.

“Why did you only get Pryna?”  He asked.  “Why not Umbra too?”

Prompto intentionally didn’t look at Noctis.

“Didn’t have the gil.  Could only afford one.”  It was a lie and he hoped Noctis didn’t call him on it.

But Noctis didn’t say anything right away.  He just gazed down into the glassy black half marbles that served as the fake Pryna’s eyes for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face.  Then put it down on the bed and stood.

“They don’t like being separated.  You should have gotten both or neither.”  He walked out of the room without another word.  

Prompto thought about all this as he reached over and picked up the dog, which he called Tiny, and held her to his chest.

“Noct didn’t know that you and I have history, did he?”  He asked her.  “I kind of wish I’d told him now.  I was always too embarrassed to tell him that I sort of almost met Luna once.  I thought he’d think it was stupid.  Now I don’t know if i’ll ever find out what he’d say.”  He fingered the edge of Tiny’s ragged ear.  He was careful with her, but the toy was so cheaply made and had been through so much that she was already starting to show signs of serious wear and tear.  Sometimes no matter how much you tried to save something or how careful you were, things fell apart anyways.  

“Damn, Noct, your diary is making  _ me _ all nostalgic and stuff.”  He laughed at himself without any actual humor.  “I bet if you were here, you’d give me so much shit for getting emotional over your diary.  And then I’d have to give you shit about calling it an actual diary.  Diary, seriously?  Not even journal?  And what the hell is a fisher king anyways?  You’d better explain it somewhere in here or else I’m gonna go bang on that crystal until you HAVE to wake up and explain it to me.”

 

_ It took a couple weeks for Dad, Clarus and Cor to agree on how this trip should go down.  A few times, I think Dad got so annoyed at the other two being overprotective that he threatened to just kidnap himself and me and make a run for it in the night.  He’d never do it, of course, but it was funny to think about.  I always liked listening to them when it was just the three of them together.  Dad never talked or acted that way around anyone else.  _

_ I never understood why back then, but now I do. _

_ Or at least, I’m starting to.   _

_ When it was all said and done, it was decided that Clarus should stay in Insomnia and keep an eye on actually running the kingdom and Cor would accompany Dad and I, at least for part of the way.  I don’t think Clarus was happy about being the one to stay behind, but Cor had more experience driving around the kingdom. _

_ Dad drove us himself and I sat in the front seat of the Regalia.  It was probably the first time that I’d ever been allowed to sit in the front seat.  I loved it so much, getting to sit up front with him.  I felt like I was really grown up.  And not only that, but Dad seemed so… different from usual.  He drove with the top down and played music and talked to me.  Really talked to me.  I can’t even remember what we talked about now - I just remember that I made him laugh and that his laugh was big and loud and the corners of his eyes crinkled.   _

_ I hate that I have to remember these things now, when I can’t reminisce with him.  Why didn’t I ever try to talk to him about this stuff when he was alive?  Why didn’t he ever say “Hey Noctis, remember that time we drove out of Insomnia and it was just the two of us?  That’s one of my favorite memories.”   _

_ I thought I would have more time.  But he knew that he wouldn’t.  Why didn’t he say this stuff to me?  Why did he let me pull away?   _

 

_ We stood at the edge of a big cliff.  I looked down and felt my stomach seize up when I saw how far the ground was below us.  It felt like we were standing on the moon, preparing to jump down to Eos.  I was absolutely scared shitless, but my dad was holding my hand and I would rather jump off this cliff or face an army than pull away from him.   _

_ “I know that this is very scary.”  Dad spoke in that soft, quiet tone that he used whenever he tried to comfort me.  “But you’ll need to be brave.  Do you know what the secret of bravery is, Noctis?” _

_ I shook my head.  I think I hoped that the secret of bravery was something that he could only explain to me in the comfort of the Regalia, but no such luck.  Warping across a ballroom was one thing - ballrooms are flat, after all - but jumping off a cliff was an entirely different matter.  One I wasn’t eager to try. _

_ “The secret of bravery is that you only have to be brave for one second at a time.  After that, it’s all just faith.  A bird isn’t being brave every single time it flies - it only has to be brave for that one second it jumps out of the nest for the first time.  After that, it knows that its wings will carry it.  Are you willing to have just one second of bravery with me?”   _

_ “...Birds have wings, Dad.  We don’t have wings.”   _

_ That made Dad burst out laughing.  The sound rolled around the canyon below us and finally faded away. _

_ “Fair enough, we aren’t birds and we don’t have wings.  Cor was right that I was never good at off the cuff inspirational speeches.”  Dad picked me up and held me against his chest with one arm.  He threw out his other hand and his sword materialized in it.  My eyes widened - my father’s weapon appeared so rarely that I’d only gotten a good look at it a few times. _

_ “However, you are a prince of Lucis, soon to be a king of Lucis.  A king of Lucis is never afraid to fall.” _

_ With that, he stepped off the edge of the cliff. _

_ We plunged downward, through thin air.  I was too afraid to scream or even to gasp.  I threw my arms around Dad’s neck and held on as tight as I could.  In retrospect, I’m sure I was throttling him, but he never said anything about it.  The ground was coming towards us faster than I even thought possible and I was convinced that we were both going to die. _

_ But then I realized that Dad was smiling.  More than that, he was  _ **_laughing_ ** _.  The wind streamed through his hair and his clothes and he was eyeing the ground as though it were a friendly rival, not certain death.  He flicked his wrist and the sword shot upwards, piercing the air that we had occupied seconds before.  I felt the fizzy sensation of warping, familiar but different because it was someone else’s power, and suddenly we were far above where we had just been, almost level with the edge of the cliff again.   _

_ My heart was in my throat, but at least I could breathe again.  We weren’t going to end up squished on the dirt below.  Dad would make sure we wouldn’t.  I let out a laugh of pure relief and I looked up to see Dad grinning at me. _

_ “Hold on tight, Noctis.” _

_ I redoubled my grip around his neck and fisted my hands in his shirt.  His arm tightened around me and he flung the sword again, but horizontally this time.  It embedded itself deep into the cliff face and then we were hanging from it.  Dad held on easily with one hand, holding me with the other.   _

_ “This is why kings of Lucis aren’t afraid of falling.  The gods gave us this power to protect the land, and the land will always protect us back.  Even if you fall, Lucis will protect you.  Do you understand?”  Dad looked down at me and I felt like something important had passed between us, even if I didn’t understand what. _

_ I nodded solemnly.  “I understand, Dad.” _

_ He smiled a true smile.  “Good.  You’ll be a fisher king one day after all.”   _

_ There, dangling above a canyon by a single sword, was the first time I had ever heard of the Fisher King.   _

_ Before I could ask what a fisher king was, there was a faint crackle and the sword vanished.  Dad blinked as we started to plummet to the ground yet again. _

_ “Aw fuckberries… I forgot how fast it does that….” _

 

It took Prompto  _ several _ minutes to recover from reading about King Regis uttering the word “fuckberries”.  He laughed until he nearly cried, making sure to muffle the sound with a pillow because the trailer’s walls were even thinner than you’d expect.  He took great gasping breaths and tried to get himself under control, mostly for the sake of his aching abs.

“This is making me wish I’d known Regis better,” he told Tiny once he finally pulled himself together.  “I bet he was a lot like Noctis when he was younger.”

Tiny didn’t seem to have an opinion on this, so Prompto settled back and grabbed the diary once again.

 

_ Clarus told me later on that apparently Dad  _ **_hated_ ** _ Tonberries.  Like, more than anything else in the entire world.  He would refer to them exclusively as “Fucking Tonberries” and this somehow got shortened into “fuckberrries”, which became his favorite curse word.  I only heard him say it a few times, but it absolutely delighted me whenever he did.  I never let on how much, but now I wish I’d actually laughed out loud.  Maybe it would have made him smile. _

_ Apparently, he couldn’t say it very much because it’s not appropriate for royalty to swear. _

_ Fuck that. _

 

_ He spent all day with me like that, falling off cliffs and warping around that canyon.  I stopped being afraid quickly, but I still held onto him because I didn’t know when I’d get another chance to do so.  I admired how easy he made it look, how the blades just flew from his grasp with a flick of the wrist.  When the ‘glaives did it, it seemed like they had to really hurl their weapons.  Dad barely even had to try.  Just from watching him, I learned that it’s not about strength - it’s about finesse.  It’s not about trying to control the power, it’s about channeling it. _

_ Dad was right, though.  I couldn’t have learned any of this from anyone else. _

_ That night, we ate picnic food the palace cooks had packed us while we watched the sunset.  Dad showed me how to absorb power from the fire, ice, and lightning crystals around the campsite.  He even let me absorb a little bit of the fire and use it to start our campfire.  I was so proud and excited that I did that all by myself that I nearly set fire to the tent too.  Luckily, Dad had absorbed ice magic and put it out fast, but I learned to cast  _ **_away_ ** _ from anything potentially flammable. _

_ After we ate, Dad did something else I had never seen him do before.  He held out his hand as though he were summoning a weapon.  I watched with interest, wondering if we were going to train by moonlight or something, but a telescope appeared in his hand instead.  I nearly fell over in shock. _

_ “Wait, we can summon stuff that isn’t weapons?!”  I exclaimed. _

_ Dad looked a little sheepish. _

_ “Well… Yes.  There’s a finite limit to what we can ‘store’ so you can’t just use it as an excuse to never carry anything ever again.  But it’s okay to keep one or two personal things that way.  This is something special to me, so I keep it where I can always get to it at a moment’s notice.  Do you know what this is, Noctis?” _

_ I nodded.  “It’s a telescope.  I’ve seen them before.” _

_ “I use it to look up at the stars.  Looking up at the stars is one of my favorite things to do and I wanted to share it with you.  Would you like to see? _

_ Looking back on it, I see now that Dad was a little worried that I wouldn’t want to do this with him.  I can’t blame him - I was sometimes an aloof, apathetic kid.  How badly would it have hurt his feelings if I hadn’t been interested in this special thing he was trying to share with me? _

_ But I nodded again.  I would have been interested in anything he’d wanted to show me, but I had never really given much thought to the stars before.  They seemed so cold and distant and had nothing to do with me.   _

_ Dad beckoned me over and showed me how to look through the eyepiece.   _

_ “I love Lucis, but I’ve always loved looking up at the stars too.  Your mother and I used to spend nights looking up at them.  She knew all the stories about them.”  He put his hand on my shoulder.   _

_ “She did?”  I looked up at him.  Stories about my mom were few and far between.  I hardly knew anything about her. _

_ “She did.  Your mom was so smart… She knew something about everything, but she especially loved the stars.  Do you see that circle of stars with the one bright bluish one in the middle?  That’s Shiva’s Crown.  The bright one in the middle is called the Oracle’s Star.  It’s the brightest one in the sky.  It shines no matter what.”   _

_ “...Luna shines no matter what.”  I pulled away from the telescope so I could look up at the stars.  The bright star in the middle of the circle - the Oracle’s Star - seemed to shine a little brighter for me at that moment. _

_ “Yes.”   _

_ Dad’s voice sounded strange, so I looked up at him.  A powerful sadness had ravaged his face and turned it into something I hardly even recognized as my father.  His face was turned up towards the sky as well.  My heart clenched and, without even really realizing what I was doing, I reached up and put my hand on his arm.   _

_ The action seemed to startle him because he jumped a bit at my touch.  He looked down at me and smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. _

_ “Sorry, Noctis.  I’m glad you have such fond memories of Luna.  Why don’t you look through the telescope and tell me what else you see?” _

_ “Okay.”  I wanted to make him happy and to make him smile again, smile for real, so I looked through the telescope. _

 

_ Other things happened that trip, but I don’t think I can write about all of them now.  It’s still too hard.   _

 

Written below, in a different color ink, and scribbled as though in a hurry:

**_Prompto, if you’re reading this, the photos are the truth you remember, but they aren’t the whole truth.  Keep reading._ ** **_Write. Down. Everything._ ** **_I’ll try to explain when I can._ **

 

**_I will return from the crystal.  Don’t give up on me._ **

 

All the air suddenly vanished from the room and shock hit Prompto like a punch to the throat.  Noct knew.  Noct knew he was reading.  Noct knew he had gone into the crystal.  How the  _ fuck _ could he know that?!  How the  _ fuck _ could he have written these words?!  The book dropped from his shaking hands and all he could do was stare at the words written in scribbled black ink on the page.  

This changed  _ everything _ .  

**Author's Note:**

> My dad died unexpectedly about a month before Final Fantasy XV came out. Playing the game really helped me work through a lot of my feelings about that, so I will always be grateful for that. This fic was spawned out of the desire to channel some of my own feelings through Noctis. At least it started out that way - now it's taken on a life of it's own! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy.


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